Normal.

So I got the call today that my TSH is in normal range. This is a good thing! Now J and I can go back to the drawing board as to when we start trying to get pregnant again. I do want to wait a few months to make sure they stay "normal" and lose weight. I'm staying optimistic and hopeful and most of all positive. I believe those are the key factors to getting a BFP!
Sorry this is so short, I have not really felt up to blogging lately. I haven't felt very inspired, but I am still reading my fave blogs daily :)
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

This isn't a death sentence

This isn't a Death Sentence..
That is what my doctor told me on Friday when she noticed I had tears in my eyes. I did NOT get a thumbs up to start trying to conceive again..in fact, I got a big frown. For one, I gained 5lbs. FIVE freaking pounds in 6 weeks. Really? I know I haven't been perfect, but I know I have been doing better. For two, after going over my lab draw, my TSH was at 11 for November. Freaking 11.."normal" is 5! That is even after 6 weeks on Synthroid 50mg. Given this news, I was very upset. I told the Dr. that we were wanting to start trying again on this cycle and she basically looked at me like I was stupid. She said that with my hormone levels as high there is no way I'd be able to carry a healthy pregnancy. She also wants me to lose 4lbs by May which I think is obtainable if I'm strict, strict, strict. She did not recommend getting pregnant for six months.
This isn't a Death Sentence..

It is sad that when I was younger getting pregnant was my biggest fear, and now that I'm older, wiser and married not being able to have a baby and grow a family is my biggest fear. I'm sorry I haven't been posting lately, but this is about the only thing that's been on my mind. Oh yea, that and hosting my first Thanksgiving as being married for my inlaws. Yikes.

Workout Wednesday

I haven't been the best about working out, but I haven't been the worst either which, I think, is a step up from where I was. I started taking the stairs at work, seven flights! Seriously, by the 4th floor I get winded. I started to feel a little claustophic is the stair well, but now I'm more used to it. It's sad that just seven flights of stairs is hard for me..going downstairs is much easier. I also took my dog on a long walk over the weekend; my shins were killing me by the end of it. These are all indications that I am totally out of shape. I will keep on trucking on and keep adding things in my workouts though. I just have to keep telling myself "mind over matter." sigh

I have a doctor's appointment on Friday. Jordan actually gets to go with me so that is a relief. This appointment is my first follow up since I've been on my thyroid medication. I'm anxious to see where my levels are after a month. J and I are ready to start trying to conceive again. We've gone back and forth so many times..should we wait til the new yer? Should we wait til I lose at least 40lbs? Should we get back on birth control? These are all things we've thrown around time and again. But really, what it comes down to is: we want a family. I'm not a very patient person, but I want to start trying when my doctor thinks I'm healthy enough to have a successful, healthy pregnancy. Hopefully we will have good news on Friday and get the thumbs up to start trying this cycle.
Happy Wednesday :)

Where have I been?

Sunday, J and I went Christmas shopping around town. We have quite the list of people to shop for; I guess that's what happens when you get married and combine both families. While we were shopping, Jordan and I were making mental notes as of what to get eachother. Usually, I wear Juicy Couture perfume. I have been since 2007, but as we walked past the makeup counters I remembered that in High School I loved Clinique's "Happy To Be"
"We stopped making that about a year and a half ago."
Really?! Where have I been? I was pretty disappointed. I was hoping it'd show up in my stocking this year haha.

What do you hope to find under the tree or stuffed in your stocking this year?

Workout Wednesday

I've decided I'm going to dedicate my Wednesday posts for my new work out routines. I'm getting back in the groove of things when it comes to working out so I plan on trying out different types of excersizes to see what work best for me. I've never really had good luck with excersizing because I always felt like I had low energy..now I know that is partly to do with me having hypothyroidism and the other part is me being lazy. So I just want to use Wednesdays to track my progress and workouts that I'm liking. Please feel free to chime in with any suggestions or your faves. I'm willing to try anything!!

So yesterday I went to the YMCA for the first time since...the summer when J and I would go to the outside pool and soak up the sun. It's a shame that I pay for a gym membership every month and don't even use it. I just make excuses. No.More!! So yesterday I packed my lunch and dinner (since I work until 7pm) put my workout clothes in my car and went straight to the Y after work. It was hard to take a different route and not go straight home and sit on the couch..but I went. I started off slow..picked up a parenting mag and rode the bike for 20minutes. Then I went to the treadmill. I walked 1 minutes, ran 1 minutes, walked 2 minutes, ran 2 minutes..and so on. I was sweating bullets! I guess that is a good thing, but I was so exhausted afterward! Usually you get a burst of energy, right? Not me, I go home, shower and sleep.

Anyway, I actually signed up for the holiday season "Battle of the Buldge.". The weigh in is on November 14th and you have to either maintain or lose weight up to January 4th to get a tshirt. That's the plan anyway so might as well try to get a tshirt to inspire me haha.
Again, please feel free to leave comments or suggestions as I keep on this trail to a happier, healthier, skinnier me!

**A Special THANK YOU to all the Veteran's out there. Thank you for all your hard work and dedication to our Country. Happy Veteran's Day!**

Ohhhh Christmas Tree..

Who is excited to decorate for Christmas?? Meeee! Growing up we always decorated after Thansgiving dinner. I think I want to keep that tradition in our household. I'm so ready to decorate my first house..and I have so many ideas! I'm counting down: 17 days, people!! If only I could hang that "baby's first Christmas" ornament I bought for our baby that was supposed to be born November 18th. Maybe I could still hang it in memory?? Or is that gruesome? Anyway, last year J and I were still in separate apartments, but I still decorated an artificial tree. Here is us on our first Christmas together 2008:
This year is going to be waaay better. I'm talking lights on the outside of the house, stockings..candles, just a warm, cozy Christmas house! Jordan wants an real Christmas tree. I've never had one..but I'm always up for new traditions as we start our little family. What are your thoughts on real trees vs. artificial? I'm also ready to start shopping. I already have my mother in law, sister in law and little sister completed. We still have to shop for:

• Mom
• Dad
• older sister
• brother in law
• niece Ariauna
• nephew Elias
• sister in law
• nephew Lathyn
• niece Kamryn
• grandma
• grandparents in law (??)
• aunt

You know, I always thought buying for little kids would be easy..it is actually quite hard. I want to buy them what they need (ie. diapers, clothes) vs. what they would probably want (toys, movies, etc) so I'm trying to mix and match things. That will be a whole other blog entry!

Keep counting down until decorating time!!..oh, and that would be Thanksgiving also :)

I'm a little late!!

...But here are some Halloween pictures. J and I threw together last minute costumes, but had a great Halloween weekend. We ended up going to two different parties and seeing a lot of good friends!

Jordan was a Glam Rocker and I was a cat...meeeeow

This past weekend was my Birthday!! It started off with me getting a "new to me" car.. a white 2005 Pontiac Grand Am GT. On Monday my husband ended up wrecking my Saturn. We really wanted to wait til after the New Year to buy a new car..so this just sped up the process. My poor Baby Saturn :( I bought that car when I was 17..my first "big purchase" it still runs, but it's not pretty :( So we are on a pretty tight budget right now, but I'm lovin the new car. We also went to a mexican restaurant with some friends....oh and I finally got my camera :)

The restaurant was terrible!! It closed at 10pm and we didn't even get our food til after 9! Oh well, I still had a great day. We had to cancel my "nirthday trip" because the money we budgetted for the car ended up being a down payment on the car. We will go again soon, I'm sure. Happy work week!!

Thursday's Thought..

So, let me give you a little background..there is a girl at work who is pregnant (let's call her Shelly) due November 24th. I was supposed to be due November 18th. We both found out we were pregnant at the same time...yay we talked about the weekly changes in the pregnancies, baby stuff..you know, just the excitement of being pregnant. At week 12 I had a m/c and she was very supportive of my loss. I was very envious of her, which I think is natural, but never let it show. She never told me about her dr. appointments or anything baby related, but when I would hear her talking about the pregnancy it was very painful to me, but I've always stayed positive and happy for her.

Anyway, I invited her to my bachlorette party 3 weeks before my wedding. I'm not a party crazy person by any means so my bachlorette "party" consisted of sitting on a patio at a restaurant with drinks. She came and then all of a sudden she orders a beer. At first I thought she ordered it for me, but I dont' even like beer..next thing I know, she is drinking a beer..at 17 weeks pregnant. Now, if that's your perogative OK, but seriously? I just had a traumatic miscarriage 5 weeks prior and you're going to drink alcohol in my presence? I don't try to be judgemental, but after that I lost a lot of respect for her. My night was pretty much ruined after that.

Fast forward 4 months: I'm over the whole drinking at my bachlorette party, I've gotten over the jealousy..now I'm just excited that her little girl is going to be here soon. Two weeks ago, in the office, we threw her a baby shower. I got her some really cute winter outfits, diapers and just some misc. stuff. I wasn't there to see her reaction when she opened the gift, but I never got a thank you card either. I never even got a "Allie, thank you for the gift!" and we are only an office away. I'm kind of shocked, because I think a verbal thank you..an email thank you..a thank you card..a thank you call..a thank you twitter..a thank you facebook status..any kind of thank you is really important. I don't think I'm out of line here.
Has anything like this ever happened to you? Am I overreacting??

Birthday Trip!

I need to get out of here. What better time than my birthday? Yup, Jordan and I are going to head down to the Riverwind Casino in Oklahoma November 7th. I'm trying to get my BFF and her husband to go with, but that is taking more persuading! I'm not much of a gambler, so I'm going to budget low for gambling, but most of all I just want to get away for the weekend ith my husband. Gambling, shopping, good food, friends (hopefully) will make a great Birthday celebration! I still want a digital camera, though ;) *hint hint*

Work has been really stressful..to the point where I call my husband on my lunch break begging him to let me just go home and not go back. Have you ever had a job where you just felt unappreciative? Unwanted? Lowest on the Todem Pole? Yup, that's me..after two years.

Last week was "customer service" week..in my mailbox I got a personalized thank you card from my manager saying "Allie: Thank you for your great customer service and positive attitude!" I was stunned, wow that was nice to personalize that just for ME..then I see that my neighbors got a card too with the.exact.same.thank.you! Rude! I mean, it was nice she handed those out, but the least she could have done was really personalize them for each of us. Oh well, I know where I stand here. I am thankful I have a job, but my job does not define me one bit. I'm sorry, I'm just venting.

Can't wait for Halloween this weekend :)

Weekend recap

Ok, first: I don't want to talk about my weigh in Saturday :( I gained a lb back! What the heck. Jordan was trying to console me saying one pound could be a drink..but as Jillian says, The scale doesn't lie! So, that was pretty disappointing, but I'm not going to fall off the wagon again!




Saturday morning I woke up and picked up the house..I had my sisters and best friend over for a Mary Kay party. I like Mary Kay- but I am really not impressed with their eye shadow colors or lipstick! I was trying to find a more "fall/winter" lipstick shade. I chose raisinberry:

And it looked Brown on me!! So I couldn't decide on anything. It was good to get together with my girls though.
J's company had a Halloween party later that night so we got dressed up and went. Our costumes were very "last minute" ha..Jordan wore some velvet, paisley print pants and one of his mother's old frilly shirts. He was a mix between a hippie/woman..pretty interesting! I just wore some of J's scrubs, his nametag and surgery mask. Boring! We will have better costumes for the Halloween party we're going to this coming Saturday!

Sunday, we went to my sister's for lunch and watched the Chiefs play booo :( deep cleaned my closet and watched the Season Finale of My Antonio. I kept thinking he was going to bring Tully back :( I know the show was probably made up, but I really feel like they had true love! When she was sent home last week I actually cried! J definetly made fun of me for that. Anyway, Antonio picked Brooke. No surprise there. I wonder if they'll have a reunion show next week..cross your fingers! I will miss looking at you, Antonio!!

Just a little update, I have been on Synthroid for a week now. I can't tell any difference, but I never really felt "sick" before I found out about having Hypothyroidism. I'm only on 50mg so it will be interesting to see where my levels are in 4weeks.

I also made the decision to go back to school for the spring semester. My major: elementary education! I'm going to take night classes 12 credit hours, and work full time also. I have faith I can do it. I have a great support system from my husband and I realized last Thursday after a really bad day, that I don't want to work in insurance the rest of my life. It can be depressing. J and I are going to the college on November 6th (my bday!!) to enroll. This may also put "trying to conceive" on the back burner..but we have plenty of time to worry about that in the future. I really just want a change of pace in my life.

Happy work week, everyone!

Playoffs!

(Sorry for the bad quality photo..but I only have my camera on my phone. Maye I'll get a digital for my Birthday in two weeks *hint hint* ;))

Tonight I went with my mom, dad, and niece Ariauna to my alma maters football game. We won! So playoffs here we go..this is the 1st time since 1971 that they have gone to state so this is pretty exciting for us! Ariauna loved the game, especially the marching band at half time..if you ask her what she wants to play when she gets to be in band she says "TUBA!" way too cute! Anyway, it was a great game and the weather cooperated. Fun night with family and football!

upgrade

Soon..

I will be upgrading..

From this:

To this:

YAY!

hair

So, one day..March 2008..I did this to my hair:

Then..November 2008..I decided to be a little "edgier" so I did this:

Presently, I am at this:

But I realllllly miss this:

Please hair, keep growing! Please and thank you!

Weekend/Weekly Weight Watchers

Saturday I weighed in for my Weekly Weight Watchers and -2lbs! That's 5lbs in two weeks. I'll take it.
So I started my medication Synthroid for the hypothroidism on Sunday. Let me tell you, I haven't had a good night sleep since. I was tossing and turning all night last night and dreaming/half awake about work! I remember waking up, very frustrated and begging God to just let me fall sound asleep. I go back for a follow up in 5 weeks. I'm still trying to be optimistic and not get too negative, but I really hope I can adjust to this medication soon.
The weekend was just all right. Friday I went to the doctor, got my hair highlighted and ran errands around town. Then I went to visit my niece and nephew, gave them baths and read them their nightly books. Then I went to visit my aunt for her Birthday because she was in town. Then it was time to go pick J up from work. After I picked him up we decided to go to Old Chicago so he could work on his beer tour. I was so exhausted after we ate so we went home and called it a night.
Saturday, my sister and I scrapbooked for about four hours. We have been working on a scrapbook for our parents for Christmas and it is coming together very nicely! Then J and I were going to go see the new Gerard Burler movie (can't think of the name) but I just didn't have enough energy to sit through a movie..I was too worried I'd fall sleep. So we went to dinner and drank a margarita. Sunday, we got up, went to brunch and a Halloween store. Still not sure what we're going to dress up as for a Halloween party we're invited to this weekend! Any ideas for a cute couples costume?? I'm still thinking about being a hippie couple...
Happy work week, everyone!

Hypothyroidism

Yesterday I got a call from my OBGYN's office saying that my 2nd lab results were indicating that I have hypothyroidism. Hypo-what?? She said my results weren't even on the same scale as to where they needed to be. Come again? I was pretty confused and concerned; I was still at work and didn't want to speak too loudly about my "condition." I did, however, ask if this hypothyroidism was related to my miscarriages. She was quick to say NO. Well, I got to googling (word, yes?) and from what I read, it's about 50/50..some studies show that the absence of the thyroid horomones while pregnancy would result in miscarriage and other reports are saying the two are not linked. I know you shouldn't believe everything you read on the internet, but I would really like to learn why my husband and I lost two children. Obviously we're not infertile..we just can't stay pregnant! My 1st pregnancy I made it to 12 weeks and actually heard the heartbeat an hour before I miscarried, my 2nd miscarriage was at 6 weeks..random. Just nothing makes sense.
I am optimistic though..I'm going to my PCP on Friday to get prescribed some medicine to regulate the thyroid issue. From what I've read (yes I'm still reading) hypothyroidism is easily managed. I think she is going to put me on Synthroid?? Anyone familiar with this drug? I am anxious to speak more with my doctor regarding this hypothyroidism whatchamacallit. I should have a better update on Friday about it.
I am also getting my hair done on Friday..just a good ol' touch up on the roots and trim on the bangs. It has been over a year and I am still growing out the Victoria Beckham bob. ugh, so annoying. Well, happy hump day..whoops, I mean wednesday :)

lovers survey

I read Brittany's survey at http://anenchantedlifewhilebecomingawife.blogspot.com/2009/10/mr-love-and-i_13.html

and thought it was too cute to pass up. (btw, who wants to teach me some HTML??!!) So here is a little background of me and my love, Jordan :)

♥ What are your middle names? Shai and Anthony

♥How long have you been together? Married for 3 months, together for over a year

♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating? I think about 2 weeks

♥ Who asked who out? It was cute..J was trying to find the courage to ask me out while we were standing on a friend's porch and I finally just said "we can go on a date sometime if you want.." lol

♥ Who made the first move? probably me lol

♥ How old are each of you? I'm 21 and he's 24

♥ Did you go to the same school? No

♥ Are you from the same home town? Yes

♥ Who is the smartest? Jordan for sure..he is very book smart, but I am the one with the common sense!

♥ Who majored in what? J is pre-med..I went straight to a flight academy out of High school and was a flight attendant for awhile until my airline went bankrupt. I haven't gone back to school.

♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple? anything mexican or italian!

♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? Oklahoma lol..we plan on taking many trips though.

♥ Who has the worst temper? ME

♥ How many children do you want? 2 if God would allow me to.

♥ Who does the cooking? Jordan usually..I bake more.

♥ Who is more social? Jordan..he can be friends with a stranger, I havea bit of social anxiety.

♥ Who is the neat-freak? More Jordan, but we are both clean.

♥ Who is the most stubborn? Me!

♥ Who wakes up earlier? Jordan, but just because he goes to work an hour earlier. We sleep until about the same time on the weekends.

♥ Where was your first date? hmm..we went to a movie, then he came back to my apartment and cooked me dinner! Then we sat on my balcony and talked until 5am..total gentleman! I even text a friend that night saying "start planning the wedding" aww :)

♥ Who has the bigger family? It's about equal

♥ Do you get flowers often? Not that often, but enough times for me.

♥ How do you spend the holidays? Last year we did separate holidays, but this year, as a married couple, we are trying our hardest to coordinate between all families.

♥ Who is more jealous? Neither of us are really the jealous type..we joke about it to eachother though.

♥ How long did it take to get serious? mmm..probably about 2 months.

♥ Who eats more? Jordan lol

♥ What do you do for a living? I work for an insurance company as an insurance adjuster, Jordan works at our local Heart Hospital and does a lot of medical assisting work and clerical work.

♥ Who does the laundry? Both

♥ Who’s better with the computer? Jordan

♥ Who drives when you are together? Me (long story)

♥ What is "your" song? We have a lot of songs.. "I'm Yours" Jason Mraz is one of our first songs, We walked out as man and wife to "You are the Best Thing" by Ray Lamontagne and our first wedding dance was to "You and me" Lifehouse!

My Birthday wishlist..

My 22nd Birthday is coming up on November 6th..I think it will be pretty low key..maybe some Mexican food and margaritas with some friends. But no better time than to start a Birthday wishlist for my hubby! I really need a camera! My old Sanyo digital camera died on me and I have been without a digital camera for almost a year! A digital camera will also improve my blog *hint hint* haha This is from Target..love the color.

Scarves! My new favorite accessory.

These ankle boots are cute! Love the plaid and would look adorable with a few of my outfits.
Okay, that's all I have right now..of course, just being with friends and family is all I really want, but these are my 3 wishes :)

Thought of the day..

Always be nice to everyone you come in contact with because you never know what they are going through that day...

Take from it what you will..but it is always best to be kind to everyone because they could be going through a very trying time in their life. People are rude these days..no compassion whatsoever and I'm appalled. I was thinking about this because I work for a health insurance company and I'm in constant contact with members explaining their benefits, claims processing, etc. I hear so many stories of battling cancer, terminal illnesses, etc...and I just wish people would make a little more effort in their day to be positive to those around them.

Anyway, The weekend came and went and it was pretty relaxing. I'm happy to say I lost 3lbs at my weight watchers weigh in in my bathroom Saturday! It's a good start..I'm trying to lose 20 by the new year. Then J and I went to lunch and to see the movie Couples Retreat. It was just OK for us..we were expecting a little more out of it, but overall it was alright and I would recomment it to any married couple who were taking eachother for granted.

Then Saturday night J wanted to have some friends over for Guitar Hero and my sister wanted me to scrapbook with her so we parted ways for the night. Then Sunday I woke up and cooked chilli for my family who was coming over to watch the Cowboys vs. Chiefs game. The Chiefs let us down again, but it was good to hang out with the fam..the highlight of my day: seeing my nephew walk all over my house. He isn't even one year old yet! Then J and I just relaxed the rest of the day. Of course I watched:

My Sunday guilty pleasure haha. Who is for Tully? I think they are meant to be! J hates this show, but I beg him to watch it with me. They are down to the final 3..Tully, Brooke and Miranda. SO glad Christy went home! Okay, happy work week everyone :)

No impressed.

When I heard that Lauren Conrad was going to have a line at Kohl's I thought 'great.' I thought it was good that she was coming out with a more economical line since we all know he 1st expensive line was a flop. And, I love Kohl's..I can always find something there for any occasion. So I remembered that I hadn't checked it out so I went on the Kohls.com website and NOT impressed. What the heck, there's only like 10 tops, 4 dresses and 3 pairs of bottoms listed?? Am I missing something?? And the display page when you click to view her line is very high tech and makes it looks very special. Again, am I missing something??!! I did like one top and one dress, but I am in Kansas and not really thinking about wearing a dress this season. (images are from kohl's website)

Anyway, I'm still planning on going shopping a little this weekend and maybe there is a bigger selection in the actual store for LC? I'm still wanting some new tops for the fall/winter and a few cardigans. I couldn't find any cardigans I liked at Target last weekend.

What is an essential in your fall/winter wardrobe??

I'm going with scarves to dress up an outfit:

(image found on shopstyle)

My favorite jean.

Whenever I need a new good pair of jeans I go to Maurices. For one, they come in short, regular or long..and me, I need long. Plus, long jeans look the best with heels, in my opinion. I like that each pair of jean is different..distressed for casual/lounge/housework, dark wash for dressing up and then everyday wear. Maurices also offers their plus size line included with jeans which, in some months for me, is good to have!

What is your favorite brand/style jean??

Update: I wasn't liking South Beach..sorry if TMI but it was making me constipated despite drinking 4 20oz bottles of water a day. And I was too tired all the time. I'm back to my good ol' Weight Watchers..5th times a charm? I'm not going to meetings..they have upped their weekly price and I know the system. I just really need to stick to it. Who's with me??

karaoke

Well, this weekend I did something I've never done! I went to a karaoke bar and actually karaoke'd (sp?? lol)

Saturday night J and I went to a nice italian dinner to kind of celebrate our anniversary from last weekend..since we really didn't do anything. Then we browsed the mall and bought a clock similar to this: (can't find actual clock on kirklands.com website)

Thennn we went to our friends', Marlene and Chuy, house and went out for drinks then off to the karaoke bar. I gained enough courage (and drank a few drinks) and Marlene and I sang "Baby One More Time" by Britney. Good times. J also sang twice..there was a bachlorette party there and he was a hit. We don't usually go out to bars like that, but it was a nice change of pace with good friends. We sure felt the after-effects of staying out late though so we really slept in Sunday. All in all it was a good weekend, good food with good friends. Couldn't ask for more.

People. I do not feel well. at. all!!! Some theraflu and my bed is calling my name when I get home from work. I have no appetite, no energy, headache and I'm achey all over. I feel like I'm dying for a massage! The sad thing is that I was just at the doctor yesterday...my OB, but still.
I went for a follow up visit with my new OB yesterday. Luckily J was able to take off work and go with. I needed his support. I went to the visit thinking "Okay, birth control here we come." but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My new Dr. was the absolute sweetest and caring medical professional I've ever encountered. We checked in for the appointment and literally two minutes later or so the actual Dr., not the CMA or nurse, came out in the waiting room to personally take us back and introduce herself.
She said "I am so sorry this has happened to you guys twice. I specialize in high risk pregnancy and be with you every step of the way." Her kind words actually made me tear up because I am so tired of hearing the saying "These things just happen." That phrase has made me angry..bitter. Anyway, she offered suggestions on what we are going to do next time around. As soon as I'm pregnant again she's going to start me on progesterone and track my hcg levels weekly to make sure I am on the right track. When I asked her if we were going to have to wait for the 7-8 week mark to see her again she said "NO! and if anyone at the front desk gives you any problems about coming in earlier then call my nurse and it will get back to me." I was so reassured. Even J was very pleased. I left the office a little more positive and confident in our future family. I have gone months where I just absolutely hate my body and am a little upset with God. There will be nights where I'm just laying in bed, saying my prayers and I think 'God..why would you do this to me and Jordan? We are not living off the government; we have our house, cars, jobs; we made this baby out of love and faith, but yet it is still taken away.' but yet these things just happen. One of life's mysteries I suppose. Back to the drawing board for a successful pregnancy :)

Anniversary

Sunday, September 27th, was me and J's 1 year anniversary of being together. Yup, that's right, we were engaged six months after we started dating and then married after nine months. Because, when you know, you know! People have asked me if I regret getting married so soon. I don't, but I do wish we would have had a longer engagement. That's all.

We really didn't do much for our anniversary. We went to J's cousin's birthday party..she turned one. Then went home and relaxed...watched our Sunday night reality tv fix "My Antonio" and "Tool Academy 2" ha these shows make me laugh.

I think we are going to get pictures taken next weekend...I am still at a loss for a Christmas card photo. I bought this shirt from Kohl's:

And J got a matching button down. So I think they'll look good to get photos taken in!

I was going to post about South Beach, but I was angry at the scale this morning. I told J to hide it..just get it out of my sight! Maybe in a few days I will be able to post about my results on this diet..not this week though! Happy Monday :)

South Beach

I forgot to mention that I am on day #3 of the South Beach diet. So far so good, but I am hungry! I read somewhere that the cravings go away after a week..I sure hope so. This weekend will be a test of my determination..I have a one year old's birthday to go to on Saturday and I volunteered to make cupcakes!
I've done Weight Watchers (4 times!!) before and did lose 19lbs, but then my sister (who was my partner) became pregnant and quit. I tried to do it by myself, but wasn't motivated at that point in my life. I'm motived now, because I have gained some "marital bliss" LBS!
I think I will update my progress on Mondays because that is when I plan on weighing. I will also post my favorite South Beach recipe of the week. I will leave you with a recipe: (sorry I forgot to take pics when I was cooking!)

Taco Bake
Ingredients:
1lb. Ground Beef
1 can refried beans
onion
green pepper
2 tbsp. chilli powder
1 tbsp garlic powder
2/3 low fat cheddar cheese

Preheat oven to 450. In cassarole dish, coat refriend beans and bake for 15 minutes. Brown ground beef with onions and green pepper. Season with spices. Remove cassarole dish and top beans with ground beef mixture. Top with cheese and bake for additional 10 minutes.

Very easy!! I liked that the refried beans acted as a crust. DH loved it too and he's still kind of apprehensive of the no carb diet. Wish me luck this weekend :)

The Pill

After my husband said "it's up to you..." I have been debating going back on the pill or no? Two miscarriages within 5 months can really do something to a girl, mentally and physically. I have questions like: When we want to try again, how badly is my cycle going to be "messed up?", Maybe 2 m/c is just a fluke and we're really okay to try again?, How long should we wait?, Will I gain weight on the pill?, Should we just do the "whatever happens" method?

After going back and forth..my mind pacing like a puppy waiting on its' master to come home..weighing everything in my head..I've decided I should get back on the pill. We have a lot of things we want to accomplish in the rest of this year and 2010. Home improvements, DH to go back to school, New car, minimizing credit card debt. And most importantly..being newlyweds. As much as I want to be a mother, I know my body and mind need to heal so that when we do conceive it will a healthy pregnancy.

So, hello Pill..welcome back into to my daily life. I haven't missed you, but I need you in my life.

Ellen

Two weeks ago, my husband and I were at our local hospital suffering our second miscarriage. When I say suffering, I mean suffering..aka worst day of my life. I was in a black hole and refused to see the light at the end of the tunnel despite what anyone/anything said/did. We were waiting in the waiting room on the results that my hCg levels had plumpeted to 20 when I started to watch the Ellen Degeneres show. I've always liked Ellen..she's witty, down to earth and seems like a well rounded person. I am hardly able to see her show because of my work schedule (and can't figure out that DVR stuff) but when I was watching I just realized what a positive person she is. It was the episode where she announced that she was going to be the new judge on American Idol. I was intrigued by everything she did..danced with the audience, called her employee who was on maternity leave to catch up, spoke with Katharine Hiegl (sp??) about adopting a baby, and talked about her anniversary weekend with her wife. For an hour I wasn't pitying myself or crying. I was watching Ellen. I'm not making this up, but after the show was over I didn't cry the rest of the day. I honestly believe that the Ellen show was just a breath of fresh air that I needed to clear my head for the day. Thanks Ellen, for impacting my day..can't wait to see you on Idol!

Biggest Regret

SO my 3 months of marriage is approaching on the 27th. I have many fond memories of our special day..obviously marrying my best friend was the best decision I could have ever made in my life. I did make one huuuuge mistake when it came to planning though. I picked an inexperienced photographer. I didn't check references; we didn't have an engagement shoot. What was I thinking?! Why didn't I listen when people said that photography is a huge part of your wedding?! It's true. Biggest.Regret.Ever!! Now I'm paying for it because I'm planning Christmas cards. Our Christmas cards should have a wedding picture, right? It was a huuuuuge part of our year! This is what I'm working with:
Seriously? Okay, there are a few better like:
But nothing really has a specific spark that I was hoping to get out of our wedding photos. Oh well..I guess that is what I get when try to cut corners, price wise, when it came to photography. A girl I went to High School with did offer to tweak some pictures, free of charge, so I'm going to take her up on the offer and compensate her accordingly. Brides, do your research when it comes to photography!

First

Ok, I'm not going to lie..I have been stalking blogs. It all started when I was planning my wedding. I became a wedding planning stalker..then I graduated to newlywed blog stalking..and home decor blog stalking. Now I'm tired of lurking and it is time for to expose myself.

Hi, I'm Allie and I'm ready to blog :)