Wednesday, September 30, 2009

People. I do not feel well. at. all!!! Some theraflu and my bed is calling my name when I get home from work. I have no appetite, no energy, headache and I'm achey all over. I feel like I'm dying for a massage! The sad thing is that I was just at the doctor OB, but still.
I went for a follow up visit with my new OB yesterday. Luckily J was able to take off work and go with. I needed his support. I went to the visit thinking "Okay, birth control here we come." but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My new Dr. was the absolute sweetest and caring medical professional I've ever encountered. We checked in for the appointment and literally two minutes later or so the actual Dr., not the CMA or nurse, came out in the waiting room to personally take us back and introduce herself.
She said "I am so sorry this has happened to you guys twice. I specialize in high risk pregnancy and be with you every step of the way." Her kind words actually made me tear up because I am so tired of hearing the saying "These things just happen." That phrase has made me angry..bitter. Anyway, she offered suggestions on what we are going to do next time around. As soon as I'm pregnant again she's going to start me on progesterone and track my hcg levels weekly to make sure I am on the right track. When I asked her if we were going to have to wait for the 7-8 week mark to see her again she said "NO! and if anyone at the front desk gives you any problems about coming in earlier then call my nurse and it will get back to me." I was so reassured. Even J was very pleased. I left the office a little more positive and confident in our future family. I have gone months where I just absolutely hate my body and am a little upset with God. There will be nights where I'm just laying in bed, saying my prayers and I think 'God..why would you do this to me and Jordan? We are not living off the government; we have our house, cars, jobs; we made this baby out of love and faith, but yet it is still taken away.' but yet these things just happen. One of life's mysteries I suppose. Back to the drawing board for a successful pregnancy :)

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