This isn't a death sentence

This isn't a Death Sentence..
That is what my doctor told me on Friday when she noticed I had tears in my eyes. I did NOT get a thumbs up to start trying to conceive again..in fact, I got a big frown. For one, I gained 5lbs. FIVE freaking pounds in 6 weeks. Really? I know I haven't been perfect, but I know I have been doing better. For two, after going over my lab draw, my TSH was at 11 for November. Freaking 11.."normal" is 5! That is even after 6 weeks on Synthroid 50mg. Given this news, I was very upset. I told the Dr. that we were wanting to start trying again on this cycle and she basically looked at me like I was stupid. She said that with my hormone levels as high there is no way I'd be able to carry a healthy pregnancy. She also wants me to lose 4lbs by May which I think is obtainable if I'm strict, strict, strict. She did not recommend getting pregnant for six months.
This isn't a Death Sentence..

It is sad that when I was younger getting pregnant was my biggest fear, and now that I'm older, wiser and married not being able to have a baby and grow a family is my biggest fear. I'm sorry I haven't been posting lately, but this is about the only thing that's been on my mind. Oh yea, that and hosting my first Thanksgiving as being married for my inlaws. Yikes.

Workout Wednesday

I haven't been the best about working out, but I haven't been the worst either which, I think, is a step up from where I was. I started taking the stairs at work, seven flights! Seriously, by the 4th floor I get winded. I started to feel a little claustophic is the stair well, but now I'm more used to it. It's sad that just seven flights of stairs is hard for me..going downstairs is much easier. I also took my dog on a long walk over the weekend; my shins were killing me by the end of it. These are all indications that I am totally out of shape. I will keep on trucking on and keep adding things in my workouts though. I just have to keep telling myself "mind over matter." sigh

I have a doctor's appointment on Friday. Jordan actually gets to go with me so that is a relief. This appointment is my first follow up since I've been on my thyroid medication. I'm anxious to see where my levels are after a month. J and I are ready to start trying to conceive again. We've gone back and forth so many times..should we wait til the new yer? Should we wait til I lose at least 40lbs? Should we get back on birth control? These are all things we've thrown around time and again. But really, what it comes down to is: we want a family. I'm not a very patient person, but I want to start trying when my doctor thinks I'm healthy enough to have a successful, healthy pregnancy. Hopefully we will have good news on Friday and get the thumbs up to start trying this cycle.
Happy Wednesday :)

Where have I been?

Sunday, J and I went Christmas shopping around town. We have quite the list of people to shop for; I guess that's what happens when you get married and combine both families. While we were shopping, Jordan and I were making mental notes as of what to get eachother. Usually, I wear Juicy Couture perfume. I have been since 2007, but as we walked past the makeup counters I remembered that in High School I loved Clinique's "Happy To Be"
"We stopped making that about a year and a half ago."
Really?! Where have I been? I was pretty disappointed. I was hoping it'd show up in my stocking this year haha.

What do you hope to find under the tree or stuffed in your stocking this year?

Workout Wednesday

I've decided I'm going to dedicate my Wednesday posts for my new work out routines. I'm getting back in the groove of things when it comes to working out so I plan on trying out different types of excersizes to see what work best for me. I've never really had good luck with excersizing because I always felt like I had low energy..now I know that is partly to do with me having hypothyroidism and the other part is me being lazy. So I just want to use Wednesdays to track my progress and workouts that I'm liking. Please feel free to chime in with any suggestions or your faves. I'm willing to try anything!!

So yesterday I went to the YMCA for the first time since...the summer when J and I would go to the outside pool and soak up the sun. It's a shame that I pay for a gym membership every month and don't even use it. I just make excuses. No.More!! So yesterday I packed my lunch and dinner (since I work until 7pm) put my workout clothes in my car and went straight to the Y after work. It was hard to take a different route and not go straight home and sit on the couch..but I went. I started off slow..picked up a parenting mag and rode the bike for 20minutes. Then I went to the treadmill. I walked 1 minutes, ran 1 minutes, walked 2 minutes, ran 2 minutes..and so on. I was sweating bullets! I guess that is a good thing, but I was so exhausted afterward! Usually you get a burst of energy, right? Not me, I go home, shower and sleep.

Anyway, I actually signed up for the holiday season "Battle of the Buldge.". The weigh in is on November 14th and you have to either maintain or lose weight up to January 4th to get a tshirt. That's the plan anyway so might as well try to get a tshirt to inspire me haha.
Again, please feel free to leave comments or suggestions as I keep on this trail to a happier, healthier, skinnier me!

**A Special THANK YOU to all the Veteran's out there. Thank you for all your hard work and dedication to our Country. Happy Veteran's Day!**

Ohhhh Christmas Tree..

Who is excited to decorate for Christmas?? Meeee! Growing up we always decorated after Thansgiving dinner. I think I want to keep that tradition in our household. I'm so ready to decorate my first house..and I have so many ideas! I'm counting down: 17 days, people!! If only I could hang that "baby's first Christmas" ornament I bought for our baby that was supposed to be born November 18th. Maybe I could still hang it in memory?? Or is that gruesome? Anyway, last year J and I were still in separate apartments, but I still decorated an artificial tree. Here is us on our first Christmas together 2008:
This year is going to be waaay better. I'm talking lights on the outside of the house, stockings..candles, just a warm, cozy Christmas house! Jordan wants an real Christmas tree. I've never had one..but I'm always up for new traditions as we start our little family. What are your thoughts on real trees vs. artificial? I'm also ready to start shopping. I already have my mother in law, sister in law and little sister completed. We still have to shop for:

• Mom
• Dad
• older sister
• brother in law
• niece Ariauna
• nephew Elias
• sister in law
• nephew Lathyn
• niece Kamryn
• grandma
• grandparents in law (??)
• aunt

You know, I always thought buying for little kids would be easy..it is actually quite hard. I want to buy them what they need (ie. diapers, clothes) vs. what they would probably want (toys, movies, etc) so I'm trying to mix and match things. That will be a whole other blog entry!

Keep counting down until decorating time!!..oh, and that would be Thanksgiving also :)

I'm a little late!!

...But here are some Halloween pictures. J and I threw together last minute costumes, but had a great Halloween weekend. We ended up going to two different parties and seeing a lot of good friends!

Jordan was a Glam Rocker and I was a cat...meeeeow

This past weekend was my Birthday!! It started off with me getting a "new to me" car.. a white 2005 Pontiac Grand Am GT. On Monday my husband ended up wrecking my Saturn. We really wanted to wait til after the New Year to buy a new car..so this just sped up the process. My poor Baby Saturn :( I bought that car when I was 17..my first "big purchase" it still runs, but it's not pretty :( So we are on a pretty tight budget right now, but I'm lovin the new car. We also went to a mexican restaurant with some friends....oh and I finally got my camera :)

The restaurant was terrible!! It closed at 10pm and we didn't even get our food til after 9! Oh well, I still had a great day. We had to cancel my "nirthday trip" because the money we budgetted for the car ended up being a down payment on the car. We will go again soon, I'm sure. Happy work week!!

Thursday's Thought..

So, let me give you a little background..there is a girl at work who is pregnant (let's call her Shelly) due November 24th. I was supposed to be due November 18th. We both found out we were pregnant at the same time...yay we talked about the weekly changes in the pregnancies, baby stuff..you know, just the excitement of being pregnant. At week 12 I had a m/c and she was very supportive of my loss. I was very envious of her, which I think is natural, but never let it show. She never told me about her dr. appointments or anything baby related, but when I would hear her talking about the pregnancy it was very painful to me, but I've always stayed positive and happy for her.

Anyway, I invited her to my bachlorette party 3 weeks before my wedding. I'm not a party crazy person by any means so my bachlorette "party" consisted of sitting on a patio at a restaurant with drinks. She came and then all of a sudden she orders a beer. At first I thought she ordered it for me, but I dont' even like beer..next thing I know, she is drinking a beer..at 17 weeks pregnant. Now, if that's your perogative OK, but seriously? I just had a traumatic miscarriage 5 weeks prior and you're going to drink alcohol in my presence? I don't try to be judgemental, but after that I lost a lot of respect for her. My night was pretty much ruined after that.

Fast forward 4 months: I'm over the whole drinking at my bachlorette party, I've gotten over the jealousy..now I'm just excited that her little girl is going to be here soon. Two weeks ago, in the office, we threw her a baby shower. I got her some really cute winter outfits, diapers and just some misc. stuff. I wasn't there to see her reaction when she opened the gift, but I never got a thank you card either. I never even got a "Allie, thank you for the gift!" and we are only an office away. I'm kind of shocked, because I think a verbal thank you..an email thank you..a thank you card..a thank you call..a thank you twitter..a thank you facebook status..any kind of thank you is really important. I don't think I'm out of line here.
Has anything like this ever happened to you? Am I overreacting??