People. I do not feel well. at. all!!! Some theraflu and my bed is calling my name when I get home from work. I have no appetite, no energy, headache and I'm achey all over. I feel like I'm dying for a massage! The sad thing is that I was just at the doctor yesterday...my OB, but still.
I went for a follow up visit with my new OB yesterday. Luckily J was able to take off work and go with. I needed his support. I went to the visit thinking "Okay, birth control here we come." but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My new Dr. was the absolute sweetest and caring medical professional I've ever encountered. We checked in for the appointment and literally two minutes later or so the actual Dr., not the CMA or nurse, came out in the waiting room to personally take us back and introduce herself.
She said "I am so sorry this has happened to you guys twice. I specialize in high risk pregnancy and be with you every step of the way." Her kind words actually made me tear up because I am so tired of hearing the saying "These things just happen." That phrase has made me angry..bitter. Anyway, she offered suggestions on what we are going to do next time around. As soon as I'm pregnant again she's going to start me on progesterone and track my hcg levels weekly to make sure I am on the right track. When I asked her if we were going to have to wait for the 7-8 week mark to see her again she said "NO! and if anyone at the front desk gives you any problems about coming in earlier then call my nurse and it will get back to me." I was so reassured. Even J was very pleased. I left the office a little more positive and confident in our future family. I have gone months where I just absolutely hate my body and am a little upset with God. There will be nights where I'm just laying in bed, saying my prayers and I think 'God..why would you do this to me and Jordan? We are not living off the government; we have our house, cars, jobs; we made this baby out of love and faith, but yet it is still taken away.' but yet these things just happen. One of life's mysteries I suppose. Back to the drawing board for a successful pregnancy :)

Anniversary

Sunday, September 27th, was me and J's 1 year anniversary of being together. Yup, that's right, we were engaged six months after we started dating and then married after nine months. Because, when you know, you know! People have asked me if I regret getting married so soon. I don't, but I do wish we would have had a longer engagement. That's all.

We really didn't do much for our anniversary. We went to J's cousin's birthday party..she turned one. Then went home and relaxed...watched our Sunday night reality tv fix "My Antonio" and "Tool Academy 2" ha these shows make me laugh.

I think we are going to get pictures taken next weekend...I am still at a loss for a Christmas card photo. I bought this shirt from Kohl's:

And J got a matching button down. So I think they'll look good to get photos taken in!

I was going to post about South Beach, but I was angry at the scale this morning. I told J to hide it..just get it out of my sight! Maybe in a few days I will be able to post about my results on this diet..not this week though! Happy Monday :)

South Beach

I forgot to mention that I am on day #3 of the South Beach diet. So far so good, but I am hungry! I read somewhere that the cravings go away after a week..I sure hope so. This weekend will be a test of my determination..I have a one year old's birthday to go to on Saturday and I volunteered to make cupcakes!
I've done Weight Watchers (4 times!!) before and did lose 19lbs, but then my sister (who was my partner) became pregnant and quit. I tried to do it by myself, but wasn't motivated at that point in my life. I'm motived now, because I have gained some "marital bliss" LBS!
I think I will update my progress on Mondays because that is when I plan on weighing. I will also post my favorite South Beach recipe of the week. I will leave you with a recipe: (sorry I forgot to take pics when I was cooking!)

Taco Bake
Ingredients:
1lb. Ground Beef
1 can refried beans
onion
green pepper
2 tbsp. chilli powder
1 tbsp garlic powder
2/3 low fat cheddar cheese

Preheat oven to 450. In cassarole dish, coat refriend beans and bake for 15 minutes. Brown ground beef with onions and green pepper. Season with spices. Remove cassarole dish and top beans with ground beef mixture. Top with cheese and bake for additional 10 minutes.

Very easy!! I liked that the refried beans acted as a crust. DH loved it too and he's still kind of apprehensive of the no carb diet. Wish me luck this weekend :)

The Pill

After my husband said "it's up to you..." I have been debating going back on the pill or no? Two miscarriages within 5 months can really do something to a girl, mentally and physically. I have questions like: When we want to try again, how badly is my cycle going to be "messed up?", Maybe 2 m/c is just a fluke and we're really okay to try again?, How long should we wait?, Will I gain weight on the pill?, Should we just do the "whatever happens" method?

After going back and forth..my mind pacing like a puppy waiting on its' master to come home..weighing everything in my head..I've decided I should get back on the pill. We have a lot of things we want to accomplish in the rest of this year and 2010. Home improvements, DH to go back to school, New car, minimizing credit card debt. And most importantly..being newlyweds. As much as I want to be a mother, I know my body and mind need to heal so that when we do conceive it will a healthy pregnancy.

So, hello Pill..welcome back into to my daily life. I haven't missed you, but I need you in my life.

Ellen

Two weeks ago, my husband and I were at our local hospital suffering our second miscarriage. When I say suffering, I mean suffering..aka worst day of my life. I was in a black hole and refused to see the light at the end of the tunnel despite what anyone/anything said/did. We were waiting in the waiting room on the results that my hCg levels had plumpeted to 20 when I started to watch the Ellen Degeneres show. I've always liked Ellen..she's witty, down to earth and seems like a well rounded person. I am hardly able to see her show because of my work schedule (and can't figure out that DVR stuff) but when I was watching I just realized what a positive person she is. It was the episode where she announced that she was going to be the new judge on American Idol. I was intrigued by everything she did..danced with the audience, called her employee who was on maternity leave to catch up, spoke with Katharine Hiegl (sp??) about adopting a baby, and talked about her anniversary weekend with her wife. For an hour I wasn't pitying myself or crying. I was watching Ellen. I'm not making this up, but after the show was over I didn't cry the rest of the day. I honestly believe that the Ellen show was just a breath of fresh air that I needed to clear my head for the day. Thanks Ellen, for impacting my day..can't wait to see you on Idol!

Biggest Regret

SO my 3 months of marriage is approaching on the 27th. I have many fond memories of our special day..obviously marrying my best friend was the best decision I could have ever made in my life. I did make one huuuuge mistake when it came to planning though. I picked an inexperienced photographer. I didn't check references; we didn't have an engagement shoot. What was I thinking?! Why didn't I listen when people said that photography is a huge part of your wedding?! It's true. Biggest.Regret.Ever!! Now I'm paying for it because I'm planning Christmas cards. Our Christmas cards should have a wedding picture, right? It was a huuuuuge part of our year! This is what I'm working with:
Seriously? Okay, there are a few better like:
But nothing really has a specific spark that I was hoping to get out of our wedding photos. Oh well..I guess that is what I get when try to cut corners, price wise, when it came to photography. A girl I went to High School with did offer to tweak some pictures, free of charge, so I'm going to take her up on the offer and compensate her accordingly. Brides, do your research when it comes to photography!

First

Ok, I'm not going to lie..I have been stalking blogs. It all started when I was planning my wedding. I became a wedding planning stalker..then I graduated to newlywed blog stalking..and home decor blog stalking. Now I'm tired of lurking and it is time for to expose myself.

Hi, I'm Allie and I'm ready to blog :)